Intellectual Humorist Gifts

"I'll thank you not to quote Yeats, Godel, or any other reminders of college loan debt."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance, and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever.'

"Good news-I hear the paradigm is shifting."

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

Occasionally, when logic and rational inferences based on experience were not enough, Plato and Aristotle would resort to settling their discourse by other means.

'I can understand Heisenberg's equation and Schrodinger's equation for quantum mechanics but I cannot understand derivative trading.'

'It's amusing...but what good is it?'

Auguste Comte

High IQ Club/Lateral Thinkers Entrance.

I don't think...and yet here I am.

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Artichoke / Arty Joke

'As a professor I can tell you that only a fool thinks he's always right. There's no doubt in my mind that I'm right about that.'

Intelligent people laugh too!

'Experience has taught me all I know, and many things I never wanted to know.'

'It'll revolutionize I. Q. testing! -- I've invented the mental dipstick!'

John Dewey

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Henri Bergson

'Heidegger-Hi!'

Dept. of Marxist studies

"Hot date. Are these really my sexiest pens?"

"My husband's an intellectual pigmy"

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

"My compliments, Stefan. Marvellous wine, excellent reception."

G.K. Chesterton.

Emile Durkheim

"I wished for less wishful thinking and greater critical thinking."

'I like a man who speaks his mind.'

Mensans Behaving Badly

Scarcity

Small man to tall smoker: "It's not big or clever you know."

'How do bright women get pregnant?'

Clever pitbulls.