Intellect Fan Gifts

'Sculptor'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Well, we needed the rain."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"It's nice to feel wanted though, isn't it?"

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"Caption contest"

"I didn't take anyone's job. This is my company."

Primordial Schmooze

"So, how's your other half?"

"We've made significant progress in T-shirt cannon technology."

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

"I beg your pardon," said Alice, "but which of you is the Democrat?"

Rabbits picknick

'Even if you do, never admit that you know everything.'

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

Houdini's Dog

Meet The Ghostwriter

Winnie the Pooh bungey jumping

A heat wave threatens an old woman.

"Just how powerful of a fan did you put in your computer?"

"Always remember - what happens in the pea-green boat stays in the pea-green boat."

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

John Banville

'We really don't want to say goodbye. So, as a retirement gift - we're upgrading you, so we don't have to!'