Information Fan Gifts

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

Paul Klee

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'Here's MY information highway!'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Stephen Spender.

Best before 65 million BC.

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Time Machine Collision

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

Jester Surgeon

"You're supposed to grow a lot of little ones."

Toddler Feeding Solutions

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

Adult Barbershop

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

Ghostship

"I didn't take anyone's job. This is my company."

Primordial Schmooze

'You're looking in the wrong section.'

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

Meryl Streep

"Anyway, to make a long story short, I'm the guy who invented CliffsNotes."

"We've made significant progress in T-shirt cannon technology."