Illustration Fan Gifts

'The first version of the Trojan horse was a complete disaster.'

'Yeah, you're right, your name and address do seem to be written here... But, like you, I can't read, so I can't help you get back home...'

Olympic torch reaches Britain.

'Are we out far enough to catch one now?'

"You're supposed to grow a lot of little ones."

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

Stick Bandit

'You're looking in the wrong section.'

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

TV Dinners, Now in High Definition.

Missing Sock

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

The Runaway Horse

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Are you made of sugar?'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Your shoe's untied.'