Illustration Fan Prints

'The first version of the Trojan horse was a complete disaster.'

'Yeah, you're right, your name and address do seem to be written here... But, like you, I can't read, so I can't help you get back home...'

Olympic torch reaches Britain.

'Are we out far enough to catch one now?'

"You're supposed to grow a lot of little ones."

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

Stick Bandit

'You're looking in the wrong section.'

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

TV Dinners, Now in High Definition.

Missing Sock

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

The Runaway Horse

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'Are you made of sugar?'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'Your shoe's untied.'

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

King Henry and his Cheshire bride