Intellect Fan T-Shirts

'Sculptor'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Well, we needed the rain."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"It's nice to feel wanted though, isn't it?"

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"Caption contest"

"I didn't take anyone's job. This is my company."

Primordial Schmooze

"So, how's your other half?"

"We've made significant progress in T-shirt cannon technology."

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

"I beg your pardon," said Alice, "but which of you is the Democrat?"

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

Rabbits picknick

'I don't understand. . . My escape trick has always worked!'

Houdini's Dog

'Even if you do, never admit that you know everything.'

How does it feel to always be the smartest guy in the room, Dr. Kapuchnik? Usually, it feels pretty good. In this particular case, it feels like I'm cheating.

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

Mega Pharmaceuticals Legal Dept. What if we claim a generic knockoff of our miracle drug is blasphemous?

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

Meet The Ghostwriter

'Golfers rowing a viking longboat.'

Winnie the Pooh bungey jumping

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

"Always remember - what happens in the pea-green boat stays in the pea-green boat."

John Banville

'We really don't want to say goodbye. So, as a retirement gift - we're upgrading you, so we don't have to!'

A heat wave threatens an old woman.