Quirky Intellect Fan Gifts

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Then, after 3.7 million years...something funny happened.

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

A saxophone player reads music that says, 'Dade, dade, dade, dade, dade, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' with the eeeeeeees falling off the music stand onto the floor.

Man playing chess from his parked car.

Just what is it that amoebas really want.

'I'm afraid our worst suspicions have been confirmed - we found slug, snail and a trace amount of puppydog tail.'

"Okay, now this time just start chasing the squirrel instead of asking it to dance."

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

She was always an introvert.

Magic mushroom

OCCASIONALLY HOMO ERECTUS, THE FIRST SPECIES TO USE TOOLS AND WEAPONS, CROSSED PATHS WITH HOMO SPIFICUS, THE FIRST SPECIES TO WEAR SPATS AND DRINK COCKTAILS>

"Courtney: Raised by hamsters"

'Sculptor'

Math Lounge

"Oh, now you tell me!"

"What did it say on the seed packet?"

"Hello, research and development here. There seems to be a glitch in our gen modifier."

Pianist winds key to his piano before concert.

'You're arrogant, pig-headed and have no communication skills -have you thought of a career in intelligence?'

"And this is Dave. His motto is 'Push where it moves.'"

"Oh, it's you."

Hillbilly.

Conducting Cats

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, I have encountered a "close-talker" at work who always stands about five or six inches from my face while talking to me. Unfortunately, this close-talker is my boss. How can I get her to stop doing this without shooting my career in the foot? - Charlotte in Austin. Excellent question. It takes me back. The year was 1938. I spent months tracking down the elusive grizzly bear of the Ozark

Fire Brain

Rene Descartes

'Doctor Luftkopf is working on a United Field CONSPIRACY Theory.'

Albert Einstein

'Did you pack your own luggage?'

"Never mind what an amoeba eats - how does an amoeba eat.?"

Poor Zhok, the only Homo Sapien in a Neanderthal neighborhood.

The art of welching.

'...he's teaching me air guitar.'