Quirky Intellect Gifts

The art of welching.

Then, after 3.7 million years...something funny happened.

Math Lounge

Albert Einstein

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

The Map of the human brain

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

Suzie would later win a Nobel Prize for her Law of Special Social Relativity.

Pigeon Little

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Reverse psychology

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

The Chicken Who Crossed the Road, in therapy. My motives are always being questioned!

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

"Am I sensing fear?"

Dreams I have had...

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

Large print e-book.

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

The Man who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, and the Woman who Mistook her Husband for a New Mercedes.

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

Illogic Tree

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

The earlier, less publicized discovery of gravity by Corblatt.

The lesser of two evils.

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."