Quirky Ideas Fan Gifts

Small Business Advisor - Networking

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Introducing...Anagraman.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'Check out the old dude.'

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

Phoenix

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

The Pencil and Sharpener

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Hot cross buns

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

An Extraordinary Pointer

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

Mouse with a cat cake.