Quirky Idea Lover Gifts

"I'm afraid Mr. Edison is too busy to discuss your idea what you at this time. Please call again, Mr Fluorescent."

"Wonka's Fruit-tastic, Lick-me-loo-rolls; I'm out!"

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"He's an abstract artist."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."

Dummies for Dummies.

"Great tights!"

Easter Island Tours. Theories differ. Ernie believes they were used to display a selection of giant wigs.

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

'As a hairdresser, I must say you take it a bit far.'

CW 'Text' Yomp Sidekicks: Attorneys-at-law,

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

Air Dentistry

Men's Department. I want a tie that says, "I hate ties."

Day in, day out, dodging traffic, dashing back and forth. And for what? Nuts. My whole life wasted on a bunch of nuts.

Rare Books / Exceedingly Rare Books / Never Published Books

'Edwin, I hop you'll come home in a good mood. The decorators hung the new wallpaper today.'

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'No, it's not one of those fake arrows. I had my head pierced.'

"It has tremendous possibilities."

"No, it's not a religion or a cult. It's a fashion statement."

Lady Gaga

"This part of space feels especially weird right now."

The world of interpersonal relationships was dealt a blow today when John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, finally came out of the closet. In other news...

For years Melenie stayed home waiting for the stirrup cords revival.

Mayhem, Inc. Part 35

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

Ass-less Chaps

'I've always admired Gary's penmanship.'

An Eskimo baby pram in the form of an Igloo.

The idea for tiny drink umbrellas is conceived.

Bottom House

Conductor and Quasimodo.