Intellect Aficionado Gifts

Pub quiz dolphin - "He may possess a unique intellect but does he know the capital of Algeria?"

Man with a balloon head.

"She's been so creative lately."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

The Selfie

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Schrodinger's Black Box

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

My Literary Influences

"I want you to meet What's-His-Name, the much-misunderstood writer."

Ironing Punctuation

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"Caption contest"

"Well, the falcon cannot hear the falconer, but the rough beast found a piece of string so I don't know where that leaves us."

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"You have to pick the places you don't walk away from."—Joan Didion, Penny, Joan Didion.

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

Silvio Berlusconi - The emperors new clothes.