Intellectual Aficionados Gifts

George Santayana

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

"Caption contest"

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

"Do you believe the world is all an illusion?" "I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon." "Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet 'It's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies.' If the entire hive mind of Earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true." "I hope not. I'd hate for you to end

Can you translate that to simple-minded!

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'He was very big in Vienna.'

"Sinead?!"

'Even if you do, never admit that you know everything.'

How does it feel to always be the smartest guy in the room, Dr. Kapuchnik? Usually, it feels pretty good. In this particular case, it feels like I'm cheating.

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

'My other baby is Mercedes'

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

"Nonsense - we're far less religious than you are."

There are two schools of thought. But they are spelled differently. And one of them is wrong.

'Today in school, we learned how to count to one.'

John Banville

We hadn't realised your body language was French....

'He's just de-man's-best-friended me.'

I'm not saying she's a gifted child, but she did write her own birth announcement.

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

'Have you Googled your homework, yet?'

Scale indicates the value of books.

Spy reading secret service weekly.

Father to mother: 'Don't look now, but I think the baby just downloaded.'

Wilhelm Dilthey

'Take two of these and visit my website in the morning.'

"They all failed?! What on earth was the question?" "How do you fund a university?"

Mensa Applicants - Please Form an Orderly IQ.

"I wish I had his I.Q.!"

Free WiFi On-Board