Intellect Aficionado T-Shirts

Pub quiz dolphin - "He may possess a unique intellect but does he know the capital of Algeria?"

Man with a balloon head.

"She's been so creative lately."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

Gunter Grass

Stephen Spender.

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

The Selfie

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Schrodinger's Black Box

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Noel Coward.

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

Ironing Punctuation

"I want you to meet What's-His-Name, the much-misunderstood writer."

My Literary Influences

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Sherlock Holmes Museum: No Hounds.

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"Caption contest"

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

Silvio Berlusconi - The emperors new clothes.