Insurance Wizard Gifts

"It appears we all have group insurance."

"Patient's rights? We recommend you don't become a patient."

'Now, just wait a minute. Before this gets out of control and someone ends up hurt, do you really have adequate health care coverage?'

'Fortunately my health plan covers equipment.'

'Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it still remains so popular?'

Having to pay for health care up front.

"Go away. I haven't had an accident that wasn't my fault in the last three years."

"Before you tell me what's wrong Doctor, here's a list of the ailments my health insurance covers."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

Saving for College.

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'