Insurance Memes Gifts

"Medical insurance? Are you kidding? No one will cover me for nine lives!"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'...in sickness and in health, with full coverage or without...'

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

"Well the good news is that according to your insurance there is nothing wrong with you."

So...who is your provider ?

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

'Your policy doesn't cover you against huffing and puffing.'

"I really do think I could be an anarchist, but my insurance won't cover that."

"Is this Bart from Country Farm? This is Dan the Unrideable. Yep, happened again. "

"Apparently, all the King's horses and all the King's men were out of Humpty's healthcare provider network."

"Under our health care plan, you get low premiums, a low deductible and a free, yearly probe."

'We may have to postpone medically probing you until we can confirm you have insurance to pay for it.'

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

"Can I interest you in nine life policies?"

Slipping Insurance $5.

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'

"I have eternal life? Does that mean I can cancel my life insurance policy?"

"Have you noticed, our insurance policy has expired?"

'Hello, I'm selling life insurance. Tell me, sir, are you covered?'

"I was really hoping we wouldn't have to get insurance involved."

'Sorry Sir, but you don't seem to be covered for hail damage...'

'I'm sorry, but when you took out the policy, you never specified that it was a mobile home.'

'Don't worry. This will hurt your insurance company more than it will hurt you.'

"No, I don't think our insurance covers alien invasions. Why?"

Fire/Dental Insurance Policy - "If your teeth ever go up in flames you'll be completely covered."

Yeah, your rates are very good, but your ads on TV just aren't funny enough

Larry knew how to close a sale.