Insurance Junkie Gifts

Car Insurance - I know you haven't had an accident in 15 years...you're about due one.

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Eat me"

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'You know, our health plan doesn't cover dental.'

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

Investing 101 Acronym Test.

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

Upholding the Law

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

"Let's take in a trial."

Phobia Clinic: Now treating Dow 15,000 acrophobia.

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

Investments: Remember, tis better to have loved money and lost, than never to have loved money at all.

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."