Finance Junkie Gifts

'I feel much better just knowing you're there for me.'

'The economy can't be all that bad. That shop that sells guns and gold bullion has a line out the door.'

'Buy... sell... buy... sell... buy...'

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

"First of all, Mr. Keller, I'll buy you a new shirt."

'Stop watching all those rags to riches infomercials. You've caught the investment bug.'

Man at bank. Sign says, 'Next Bank Please'

"Yes, I AM the CEO of the bank that received the BAIL OUT MONEY, why do you ask?"

Phobia Clinic: Now treating Dow 15,000 acrophobia.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"#Win!"

Annual profits,

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"