Finance Junkie T-Shirts

'I feel much better just knowing you're there for me.'

'The economy can't be all that bad. That shop that sells guns and gold bullion has a line out the door.'

'Buy... sell... buy... sell... buy...'

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

"First of all, Mr. Keller, I'll buy you a new shirt."

'Stop watching all those rags to riches infomercials. You've caught the investment bug.'

Man at bank. Sign says, 'Next Bank Please'

"Yes, I AM the CEO of the bank that received the BAIL OUT MONEY, why do you ask?"

Phobia Clinic: Now treating Dow 15,000 acrophobia.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"#Win!"

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"