Instruction Manual Enthusiasts Gifts

"If this thing's so easy to assemble, why is there a hotline to the Army Corp of Engineers?"

Drool Marks

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

"It says it can be assembled by a 5 year old child - pop out and find me one..."

Manual Worker

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

Frustrated Dad's and Toy Construction.

Spiro & Pusho cutting log with a saw

'I almost read an instruction manual from cover-to-cover once.'

"The operation was a success. Thank goodness for YouTube videos!"

"Everyone seems to be having no trouble assembling our products. Apparently, we're making our instructions too easy."

Apparently, there are manuals, and then there are MANUALS.

"I think I've spotted your problem."

"Err... Excuse me Sir, you've forgotten the user manual for your super mini mobile."

"He's the best man in our cipher department, sir. Even we don't understand his stuff. He used to do assembly instructions for Ikea."

"These are just the directions to the remote. The directions to the TV are much longer. Technology!"

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

'You can't just get up and leave without permission.'

"These instructions are useless. Keep up the good work."

You read the instructions upside down.

Drawing in 3-D

'I've no time to read books...these are Instruction Manuals for my stuff!'

"Your project today is to find an internet video of someone building a chair."

"There really is no need for confusion about the change in the enforcement of this law. Part 95 of section 33 of article Q in the manual quite clearly states ..."

"It's here! And it only cost me $3 plus postage! You see, you don't need a lot of money to build a sweet machine!"

This end up. We called you here so we could build this bookcase that says "some assembly required."

The obvious

"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do to improve the quality of the programmes, Madam."

'Section 9c - 'Kill yourself if this clock radio malfunctions' '

'Magic and culinary.'

'It just says, 'Flick palm to on position!'