Instruction Manuals Gifts

'We bought this one to help figure out the operating manual for that one over there.'

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

Drool Marks

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

DIY horror.

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

"It says it can be assembled by a 5 year old child - pop out and find me one..."

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

Manual Worker

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

Spiro & Pusho cutting log with a saw

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

Frustrated Dad's and Toy Construction.

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

Apparently, there are manuals, and then there are MANUALS.

"I think I've spotted your problem."

"These are just the directions to the remote. The directions to the TV are much longer. Technology!"

"Maybe if you'd read the instructions then you'd be able to solve it."

"Step 1: Find Someone Who Knows How To Read Instructions, Dave."

'There's really no need for confusion. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L clearly explains ...'

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

Torn between taking the advice in her hiking manual and her impulse to help, Morgan Hirschi is frozen with indecision.

"It says here that if your gas barbecue hasn't been used all winter, you should check it over thoroughly before lighting it for the first time!"

A dog unable to open a can of dog food, holding a user's manual.

You read the instructions upside down.

'The new, $800,000 copier we got at work only came with a 12-page book of instructions.'