Instruction Manual Aficionado Gifts

"I think I've spotted your problem."

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

Maternity ward.

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

"It says it can be assembled by a 5 year old child - pop out and find me one..."

"Pavlov's Blog."

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

Manual Worker

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

Frustrated Dad's and Toy Construction.

Spiro & Pusho cutting log with a saw

Christmas gift requiring assembly.

Combined Harvester

"Yes, I know how to fix it! I watched a 12 year-old do it on a YouTube video."

A cheese grader

'...And now a word from our sponsors...'

"Everyone seems to be having no trouble assembling our products. Apparently, we're making our instructions too easy."

' . . . and a surplus screw for the heck of it!'

'You can't just get up and leave without permission.'

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

Self-Propelled Skating Gadget

"There's no way I'll ever be good at something unless there's a series of YouTube videos explaining it."

"These are just the directions to the remote. The directions to the TV are much longer. Technology!"

"These instructions are useless. Keep up the good work."

Dr. Hazeltine attended the lecture on descenting skunks...

Making Own Snow in Switzerland

Maternal Instinct: The Hatcher: "Tis an unusual kind of egg, no doubt, but thank Heaven it is still warm, and I feel the throb of young life within."

Drawing in 3-D

'The directions were easy to understand...until you got past step 2.'

"Some assembly required."

'Here we see a correlation between the returns of the stock market over the past twenty years and the attendance figures for my informative lectures over the same time period.'