User Manual Enthusiasts Gifts

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

Drool Marks

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

Manual Worker

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

"Fire department? Yes, this is a cat and, well, big surprise here, I'm stuck in a tree... But here's the odd part—I am staring at no less than five other cats, all stuck in this same tree. So weird, huh?"

'I almost read an instruction manual from cover-to-cover once.'

'Now let's call and see what time it is in CHINA!'

"They're both in telemarketing."

"See, this is why you sleep through my 4AM water calls - too much blue light at bedtime."

Apparently, there are manuals, and then there are MANUALS.

"I think I've spotted your problem."

"Err... Excuse me Sir, you've forgotten the user manual for your super mini mobile."

Torn between taking the advice in her hiking manual and her impulse to help, Morgan Hirschi is frozen with indecision.

"It's an educational toy. Let HIM figure out how to assemble it!"

'Now THERE'S a friendship I've never quite understood. That's Ludwig van Beethoven on the left, with Harvey Fernquist, the inventor of telephone 'hold' music!'

"Step 1: Find Someone Who Knows How To Read Instructions, Dave."

"These are just the directions to the remote. The directions to the TV are much longer. Technology!"

"You've reached the Tower of Babel voice mail. Press one for Aramaic, two for Sumerian, three for Babylonian, four for

"It says here that if your gas barbecue hasn't been used all winter, you should check it over thoroughly before lighting it for the first time!"

A dog unable to open a can of dog food, holding a user's manual.

Drawing in 3-D

'But it's impossible for me to drive without a phone in my ear!'

'Yes, I'm writing the message down.'

Footballers - Jaap Staam

'I've no time to read books...these are Instruction Manuals for my stuff!'

... and this section is for the people who wrote computer manuals.

'The new, $800,000 copier we got at work only came with a 12-page book of instructions.'

Large handbook for hand held PCs.