Man U Enthusiast Gifts

Footballers - Jaap Staam

Packaging Russian Dolls

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

The interested bystanders.

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

Peace on Earth

"Psst, Abe. Tom and I are relocating to Canada. You in?"

"My name is Bob and I'm looking for a 'Yesirree' man."

"I'd like to make a return."

'Honey. . . I'm ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm.'

Hippie on the moon

You're my Statue of Liberty

'I almost read an instruction manual from cover-to-cover once.'

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

A grecian jug depicting a barber cutting the plum of a soldier's helmet

'Rock beats scissors, sanctions it is!'

"Err... Excuse me Sir, you've forgotten the user manual for your super mini mobile."

The Artificial Intelligentsia

'Quit basketball to concentrate on school. Are you crazy? Do you want to end up like all those other dreamers with a college degree and no job?'

Ban Ki-moon

"Happy Master's Day."

Nanny State at the UN

'I've no time to read books...these are Instruction Manuals for my stuff!'

'This doesn't leave much room for creativity.'

"I would rather you not email me your answer!"