Assembly Instruction Navigator Gifts

Flatpack furniture: Invention of men hating feminists.

The Life of Pi

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

"Here at Global Com we're looking for people can 'think outside of the box'..."

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

Number Phobia.

"Feel free to hydrate during my presentation."

Spiro & Pusho cutting log with a saw

'I almost read an instruction manual from cover-to-cover once.'

"Oh shut up."

Frustrated Dad's and Toy Construction.

"And then bear left at the war memorial, first right down Newton road and St Luke's is straight ahead."

'We could use a little divine guidance right about now, reverend.'

'Sorry mate, you'll have to ask someone else, I'm not from this area ...'

"Yes, we've been lost before, but never this lost."

"Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?"

"Look, Bailey! Business park at two o’clock!"

"Dad, how often have I told you there's no point in trying to start an argument with the sat-nav?"

Pick a direction.

"Maybe if you'd read the instructions then you'd be able to solve it."

Competitions.

'A short cut is the longest distance between two points.'

"Step 1: Find Someone Who Knows How To Read Instructions, Dave."

"These instructions are useless. Keep up the good work."

For centuries, I've trusted my gut. Which one of you talked me into using GPS? Recalculating.

You are here.

'Please Miss, I know what comes before 8. My school bus!'

All Roads Go Nowhere.

Rush hour traffic with inconsiderate drivers.

'This is awkward, the sat-nav says go straight.'

Extra parts to confuse people.

Still going in circles. 'Told you so.'