Instruction Reader Gifts

"Maybe if you'd read the instructions then you'd be able to solve it."

Rubber ball instructions.

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

DIY horror.

Maternity ward.

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

What's the insect de jour?

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

A menu with risks and benefits

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

Manual Labor.

Uh

Try our frogs' legs

Spiro & Pusho cutting log with a saw

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

'I almost read an instruction manual from cover-to-cover once.'

"I play the husband, but am promised a speaking part next time."

Frustrated Dad's and Toy Construction.

'What does the Scout manual say about this situation?'

"You're applying for this job because your mother told you to. Well, I guess that's a good thing in a compliance officer."

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

Actors' dispute.

DIY motor repairs.

Man getting into his space suit the wrong way up

Actor looks at script called The Sandi Toksvig Story. He says: 'It's not what I had in mind when I said I wanted to play the Dane.'

Mowing manual.

'Now here's an Actor with real gravitas!'

"I'm afraid you'll have to speak to my agent!"