Instruction Interpreter Gifts

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Please make regular coffee in the pot with brown trim and decaffeinated coffee in the pot with orange trim, so people can tell what kind it is. And do not tarry at the vaulted coffee niche."

We regret that misprint on the box. Instead of saying, 'An 8 year old can assemble this' it should have read, 'It takes 8 years to assemble this.'

'Please Remove Your Clothes When Light Goes Out.'

"Take a number - then a letter - now 3 numbers, another letter, finally, 4 numbers."

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

Dialogue

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

She - Interpreter - He.

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

Test your patience, back in one hour.

Signing the declaration of independence.

"To hear the ocean in English, press one. Para Espanol ..."

DIY horror.

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

"Are these 'raw' facts or 'spun' facts?"

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'I need a text-mail interpreter.'

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

Confused drivers

Orator translates in many languages.

"Send for a Prftgxrgplwtkn interpreter - case adjourned for a thousand light years."

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

Manual Labor.

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

"…And what do you think the cracker might represent?"

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.