Data Interpreter Gifts

'We believe numbers don't lie, especially when interpreted advantageously.'

'When we're in office, we call it unemployment data. When they're in office, we call it employment data.'

"Are these 'raw' facts or 'spun' facts?"

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

Dialogue

She - Interpreter - He.

"Oh, Aunt Em, it wasn't a dream. It was a place. And you and you and you ... and you were there. But not that man with the straitjacket."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"To hear the ocean in English, press one. Para Espanol ..."

Signing the declaration of independence.

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

'I need a text-mail interpreter.'

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Orator translates in many languages.

Sales down - Blood pressure up.

"Send for a Prftgxrgplwtkn interpreter - case adjourned for a thousand light years."

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

You will awake to discover a dream come true.

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.

"…And what do you think the cracker might represent?"

'It's a recurring dream: I'm in a big room, being ignored by a whole lot of politicians...'

Frustrated Dad's and Toy Construction.

'I composed the ad jingle in my dreams: 'Hey, this flying monkey's the one for you ...'.'

"I had a dream about a huge flaming rock falling from the sky! What do you think it means?"