Data Interpretation Gifts

Indicators - "Sorry, Crossley, I'm not happy - I can feel it in my bones."

News Economic Data. Do you see the glass half-empty or half-full in this case? Neither, all I can see is the giant crack in the glass!

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

British savings accounts

The Anti-Agent

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

Fear/Knowledge

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

Love at First Sight

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

Time for More Paperwork

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."