Data Analyst Gifts

Cutting out the middleman

'People who can read Venn diagrams...'

"That's what I want to say. See if you can find some statistics to prove it."

Department of Pure Speculation.

Had volumes of data at my fingertips and still didn't see this one coming.

People who understand Venn diagrams

"Well, the census results are out, but a footnote says that the sheep count is probably inaccurate as the auditors often found themselves getting drowsy..."

Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Mo! Political pollsters.

The Grand Scheme.

Information vs. confusion

'You're pretty new to cloud storage aren't you?'

'This red line indicates the change in this red line over a period of time,'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'How do you want it - the crystal mumbo jumbo or the statistical probability?'

Information

'Having conducted a comprehensive analysis of dozens of subsets of data from a wide range of sources we've confirmed that the likely answer is 36...now we just need to identify the question.'

'On the left, this year's reading scores. On the right, the same data digitally enhanced.'

Man confusing man using statistics.

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Apparently our smart house decided it didn't need us anymore."

"It was much nicer before people started storing all their personal information in the cloud."

'We're beginning to see some positive patters in the emerging data.'

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'Of course I'm insecure. I store vital computer information in a cloud.'

'I'd prefer it if they stored their stuff someplace else!'

Data Processing Center.

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

Computer data.

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

"Look, we've got to improve our voter-tracking algorithms if we want to make more accurate wild-ass guesses."

'Everything is in the Cloud.'

'We've broken your list into eighty-four subgroups. Our work here is done.'

"Joan, I need you to prepare an objective analysis proving I'm correct."

Statistics department with 'You are here (sampling error +/- 4%)'.

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'