Instruction Manual Reader Gifts

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

Spiro & Pusho cutting log with a saw

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

DIY horror.

Maternity ward.

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

What's the insect de jour?

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

A menu with risks and benefits

"It says it can be assembled by a 5 year old child - pop out and find me one..."

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

Manual Worker

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

Manual Labor.

Try our frogs' legs

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

Frustrated Dad's and Toy Construction.

'What does the Scout manual say about this situation?'

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

DIY motor repairs.

Mowing manual.

Apparently, there are manuals, and then there are MANUALS.

"I think I've spotted your problem."

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

"Step 1: Find Someone Who Knows How To Read Instructions, Dave."