Inspirational Stories Fan Gifts

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

The Fourth Little Pig

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

"Recalculating route..."

This side is the gag reel.

Moby Dick

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

"I think I can". (train)

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Ask A Silly Question.

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Romulus and Remus

"They called me Dumbo. A memoir of redemption."

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

Pirates find out treasure is a piggy bank.

Red riding hood giving the wolf a complex

Bertolt Brecht

'Actually, I became a psychiatrist because the voices told me to.'

"Pop, tell me again how Jazz came up the river from New Orleans."

God's Phone

Frog Prince

"Boy, am I out of breath. I had to run crying 'Wee, wee, wee!' all the way home."

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"I conjured you up a dress, shoes, a corsage, and a limo—I'm not ponying up for an afterparty too."

'It's an unauthorized biography of the Chief.'

"To set the proper mood, you will now hear Winston Churchill's immortal 'blood, toil, tears and sweat' speech."

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the upcoming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"

"I made that video while doped up on catnip. That's why I'm warning you to stay away from drugs."

'Did she do anything about the falling sky after she was elected?'

Eat local

'Hmmm...'