Self-made Success Story Fan Gifts

I dropped out of school to start a company listed on NASDAQ.

The Fourth Little Pig

I'm a self-made man!

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

Moby Dick

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

This side is the gag reel.

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Ask A Silly Question.

'He's a self-made man - he did it without the media.'

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

"I attended a leadership seminar, they learnt a lot from me."

Romulus and Remus

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

Bertolt Brecht

Pirates find out treasure is a piggy bank.

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

"Pop, tell me again how Jazz came up the river from New Orleans."

Push yourself. No one else is going to do it for you. The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. You will never know your limits unless you push yourself to them. Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is worth fighting for. Passion is pushing yourself when no one else is around. Are you two going to help on not?! I thought we were.

'It's an unauthorized biography of the Chief.'

'I like reading romance novels: They always leave me with a warm feeling inside...'

Frog Prince

"Boy, am I out of breath. I had to run crying 'Wee, wee, wee!' all the way home."

Fairy Tales Can Come True

"It's okay. I'm still ranked at the top of my class in self-esteem."

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the upcoming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"