Inspirational Stories Gifts

Out of Work Motivational Speaker.

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

A Hole in the Dike

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Silence of the Chickens...

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"We need to stop sharing one set of clothes."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

Moby Dick

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

'I told you we should have done the balloon toss.'

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

Shoot For The Moon

"I think I can". (train)

Robinson Crusoe's blog.

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

Midnight Basketball

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

Great training inspires employees: 'I see myself doing you job before too long...'

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'

'Please, Grandpa Turkey! Tell us about the Christmas massacre and the Thanksgiving bloodbath!'

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

So … how did you two meet?