Inspirational Stories Gifts

Out of Work Motivational Speaker.

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

A Hole in the Dike

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Silence of the Chickens...

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"We need to stop sharing one set of clothes."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

Moby Dick

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

Shoot For The Moon

"I think I can". (train)

Robinson Crusoe's blog.

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

Midnight Basketball

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

Great training inspires employees: 'I see myself doing you job before too long...'

"They called me Dumbo. A memoir of redemption."

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

'Please, Grandpa Turkey! Tell us about the Christmas massacre and the Thanksgiving bloodbath!'

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'