Insincerity Detector Gifts

"Jeremy and I have so much in common. We both hate the same empty political rhetoric."

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Turtle Hat

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

First love.

Playground reputation.

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

Sportswasher's

"How long do you think we'll get away with it?"

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

Rosie Cheeks

Higher Instincts/Middling Instincts/Baser Instincts.

"I assume that's a 'not guilty' plea?"

"Don't you just love them when they're that age?"

"Are you listening to those bloody influencers again?"

"Don't get cute with me, counsellor."

Bookie by Merry-Go-Round.

'I say it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you're sincere.', 'Who do you think you're kidding?'

'When I was a kid, I laid on that grass and stared up at these clouds.'

When Focus Group Researchers Go Head to Head

"I need a card that's heavy on caring but light on commitment."

'I know you'll make a wonderful job of being unemployed!'

Coin Return 25¢

'You can only believe half of what you read on a cave wall.'

"Look at the silly grin on his face -- I bet his imaginary playmate is a girl!"

'The secret of success is sincerity. ...and if you don't have it, fake it.'

"How about one of those sunny old grandpas who make things look honest?"

"I approach my subjects with an almost childlike sense of wonder."

"Call it intuition or whatever, but I can't help thinking you may not be telling the truth."

"I want them to lay boiled eggs."