Innocence Appreciator Gifts

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"Don't get cute with me, counsellor."

'Wow. He looks great for 5!'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

Barcode Dreams

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

Hot cross buns

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

First love.

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

"Leonard! Throw me the car keys!"

"From this you make a living?"

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

"We don't have a cloaking device for our ship, but we've made it look like a banner ad. They won't see us."

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

I'm going to have to ask you for another urine sample, Mr. Fusco. This time, be sure to use the plastic cup, not my coffee mug with "#1 Doctor" printed on it.