Authenticity Appreciator Gifts

"God, he's so authentic."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"They’re real."

Mr Metrosexual.

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

What Does God Know?

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

"Excuse me sir, is this the environment..?"

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

What really became of the boy named Sue.

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

The Return of Tannhauser to Venusberg

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

A visit to a Victorian Painter.

"Authenticity, little buddy. That's the secret to success in love, in the workplace... in everything."

"This won't work, Josh. I'm bottled water. You're tap."

"Yeah, you can drawl the drawl, but can you mosey the mosey?"

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

"Who's idea was it to serve dressed-mutton?"

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

Modern Furniture/Sculptures Object to Old Fashioned Chair.

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'

"...And I'd like to thank all the little people whom I stepped on in order to get to where I am..."

On some of the paintings my right brain says they're good art, but my left brain says they're bad investments. On others, my right brain says they're bad art, but my left brain says they're good investments.

"If I could take back ninety per cent of the things I say, then I think people would know the real me."

"I want to explore the brutal and true civilisation, to explore lands on troubled by tourist boards, and if you could sort five-star accommodation and decent Wi-Fi that would be perfect."

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."