Identity Appreciators Gifts

What really became of the boy named Sue.

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Late-Onset Epiphany

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

'Are you having this identity crisis because you current identity sucks?'

'Apparently I was wrong about you being Elvis in a past life.. It turns out you were an Elvis impersonator.'

Bear painting himself as a teddy bear.

"I'll tell you my gender if you tell me yours."

Cybervegan Caf

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

'On second thoughts, scratch that positive prognosis. Neville's having one of his intuitive gut-feelings about this one...'

"I'm a weasel in a mink's body."

'I told you that nobody would show up.'

"Frankly, I don't know why more people don't think they're, Wellington. After all, he won."

'If dogs named themselves...'

"Beetles remain beetles, birds remain birds, dogs remain dogs - why the hell can't we remain caterpillars?"

'I always feel I could have taken credit for more.'

"The lesbian world welcomed me with open arms -- I can;t just leave."

'Just let it go, kid... You knew this line of work has its risks.'

"Which one of us is me?"

Frankenstein "Damn it! Not another ethic origin questionaire"

Intellectual support animal

'Things were fine until the day that kid yelled 'Hey look at that ugly duck with the black mole over it's beak and the long neck!'...To think I spent all those years parading around, thinking I was a swan. I can't bear the embarrassment of it any longer.'

'Book of Usernames' / 'Book of Baby Names'.

Millennial

Name

'We don't hire individuals here, Mr. Hovey.'

'Do you swear to tell the truth even though you'd be crazy not to lie?'

'You don't know what a treat it is for me to run into you!'