Identity Appreciators Pillows

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Late-Onset Epiphany

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

'On second thoughts, scratch that positive prognosis. Neville's having one of his intuitive gut-feelings about this one...'

"I'm a weasel in a mink's body."

"Beetles remain beetles, birds remain birds, dogs remain dogs - why the hell can't we remain caterpillars?"

"Frankly, I don't know why more people don't think they're, Wellington. After all, he won."

'If dogs named themselves...'

'I told you that nobody would show up.'

"The lesbian world welcomed me with open arms -- I can;t just leave."

'I always feel I could have taken credit for more.'

'Just let it go, kid... You knew this line of work has its risks.'

"Which one of us is me?"

Frankenstein "Damn it! Not another ethic origin questionaire"

Intellectual support animal

'You don't know what a treat it is for me to run into you!'

Millennial

'Do you swear to tell the truth even though you'd be crazy not to lie?'

'Things were fine until the day that kid yelled 'Hey look at that ugly duck with the black mole over it's beak and the long neck!'...To think I spent all those years parading around, thinking I was a swan. I can't bear the embarrassment of it any longer.'

Name

'Book of Usernames' / 'Book of Baby Names'.

'We don't hire individuals here, Mr. Hovey.'

'I love how you're not like everyone else. Oh, sorry, I thought you were my wife.'