Innocence Seeker Gifts

'When I was a kid, I laid on that grass and stared up at these clouds.'

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Press Freedom

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

The real murderer of Boris Nemtsov?

Letters escape from a caged book.

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

"They’re real."

"The president says there isn't a flood. What's the harm in humoring him?" "Hey! Would somebody pull Lindsey up for air?"

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Truth

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

"Which news channel should we watch?"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Information...political rhetoric

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"What Genocide? What Armenians?"