Innocence Advocate Gifts

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

Trial by Media

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Thank you, Essential Workers

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

Slavery Reparations

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

Detention Center

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

"Moulting"

Violent Crime Statistics

The problem is, too many people aren't the least bit particular about their arrows.

Human Rights for All

"They're class action figures."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

Lady Justice.

What Does God Know?

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Bleh! What's up, little man? I can't figure out how to start my essay on integrity and honesty. Oh yeah. I once wrote one of those. Excellent. Can I use yours? Honestly?

Neutral Man.

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"