Innovative Parent Pillows

"He's going to have the best of everything."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

"Time for bed, guys."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

"You're just gaming down there? Shouldn't you be issuing your first IPO for some billion dollar internet enterprise you've created?"

'The stuka brought you.'

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

Modern Parents

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

Virtual Beach

'You wash and I'll dry.'

"Not now. I'm working on my children's book."

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

My dad makes his own beer.

Child has practiced building sand castles in snow.

'It just says strange things happened after she ate the wafers. It doesn't mention their street value.'

'We couldn't afford school pictures this year so Timmy is doing the family portraits.'

'I was cleaning my catapult and it went off.'

"Tommy, look at that! A red-tailed porcupine owl!!" "Jack Walton: Loving father and liar"

Igloo Art.

"Quick mommy, call Sothebys."

"Look Daddy, at least the poor economy hasn't affected the Tooth Fairy yet!"

'Admit it. I just blew your mind

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

Designer Baby.

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

Heimlich's Mother's Maneuvers