Innovative Child Pillows

"You're just gaming down there? Shouldn't you be issuing your first IPO for some billion dollar internet enterprise you've created?"

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

"It's an Eyesaur."

Feeding of a giraffe with the use of a balloon.

'All good things must come to an end.'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Philosopher trading cards.

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

"Since I became a creator on social media, fridge displays seem so passé."

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

"I'm making pink lemonade!"

Abstract expressionist face painting.

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

"That' a wonderful picture, sweetheart. You know, maybe we should keep all of this garbage, in case you become a famous artist."

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

'We need a new hot water bottle.'

"Timmy, your dog looks just like he does in your drawings."

Daisy Diaper Service

Look Mom! I'm cat-scanning!

Child has practiced building sand castles in snow.

'Ever since you told your son he has blue blood, he's been telling everyone he's a Martian.'

"She wants the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth."

Child thinking pregnant mother looks like a Telly-Tubby.

No wishing

'I was cleaning my catapult and it went off.'

Playing dustbins

Tiger Costume