Innocent Moments Appreciator Pillows

A boy wanting another boy to share an oyster

Showbiz Awards

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

A boy with a camera

First love.

The awkwardness of one's first officeplace fist-bump.

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

Windchimes

Speed Dating Disasters

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"Are you blushing?!"

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"Not wearing deodorant is not what I meant by 'respect the local customs'"