Inner Clown Gifts

'Maybe you should try crying on the OUTSIDE....'

Ethics exam cheater.

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"I lettered in spelling."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

Civics Class: Mock Election Today. Oh, no --- Another multiple choice test!

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

"I want to be street smart so I can be a road scholar."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'