Construction Clown Gifts

"You got the plans upside down. . .This should be a well."

"Come down you two, we've got work to do!"

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

How are you at decision making?

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

'Very funny!'

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

Runner going through hurdles.

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

'Jack, you're being way too entertaining. This is supposed to be a bored meeting.'

Dog executives are in a duel

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

"I have a message from corporate. It says 'bail'."

"He didn't slip on even one of those peels..."

'I started as just another 'yes man', but eventually my talents were recognized and I became a full fledged sycophant.'

"It's depressing, people just don't take our work seriously."

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."