Office Clown Gifts

"I'm glad to hear you're finally fitting in." (Man has sign saying 'Kick me off the team' attached to his back).

'My doctor says I should try to have more fun at work.'

Suggestion Box: Get back to work.

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

Kick me.

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

'I have complete confidence that the company will pull out of this down spiral.'

It hurts when I do this.

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

'It'll be a shock to the workforce, they only work two days a week.'

'A pay rise?... But I thought I'd fired you months ago!'

"I'm delighted our manager wants to hold on to us...but this branding idea is taking it too far!"

'You've got to wonder just how many cut-backs this department can take!'

"Wow. Suddenly I've got fever, cough, sore throat, runny nose, headaches and body aches, chills, and fatigue."

We're a paperless office, except for executive bonuses.

"Note to managers: No more face-painting Fridays."

'I like this guy. He's not the best worker but here, but one of the few who doesn't complain about the office temperature!'

Welcome - Mat.

'Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some are allowed to work for great men like me.'

' I just loved this picture so much,I just had to get it 'lambinated' for my office wall.'

"What's your office demeanor today, sir? The mask of comedy or tragedy?"

"Don't quit on me! Is this how you trained for your last job?"

"Hey gang, my eyes are up here."

'You're gonna need a tow truck.'

Quit Staring Here, And Get Back To Work!

'Bob, I was just trying to get you on the phone to see what all that noise outside was about.'

Tie says twit, fool, idiot etc: 'I like to wear loud ties at work to project my true personality.'

'Midgely, we've decided to put Gillen on this project.'

"Don't keep me in suspense, Michael - what did they give you, a gold watch or a cheque?"

"That's the one who photocopied his bottom, boss!"

"I'm so sorry sir. It would appear there are only so many times a human can say: 'Do you want fries with that?' before they snap."

"A cup fell from the board on your head and you didn't see this coming? Well, I wonder if you're the right man for your job."

Gurkenman Used the Company PC to Visit P**n Sites Again...What a Pig!!

"Why can't you ever be serious?"