Business Class Clown Gifts

Now, let's remove the blindfold and have a look around your new work space: Bad news, delivered badly.

'You know, Tom...Even after getting million dollar bonuses I can still enjoy the small things in life! Like stealing lunches from the staff fridge.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Ethics exam cheater.

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Yearbook

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

How are you at decision making?

Shake it all about sign on desk

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'