The Office Clown Gifts

"You heard right, mom...the boss made me his plant manager!"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

Bo're'droom

Here and There Trays

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

'I hope you replace your divots.'

How are you at decision making?

Shake it all about sign on desk

"Everybody gets a raise."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'