Construction Clown Pillows

"You got the plans upside down. . .This should be a well."

"Come down you two, we've got work to do!"

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

How are you at decision making?

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

'Very funny!'

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

Runner going through hurdles.

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

Dog executives are in a duel

"He didn't slip on even one of those peels..."

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

'I started as just another 'yes man', but eventually my talents were recognized and I became a full fledged sycophant.'

"It's depressing, people just don't take our work seriously."