Ingredient Awareness Gifts

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

National Everything Awareness Day

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Is the MSG local?"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Honest Vending

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

All Natural Nothing

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Can't even hold signs well.

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

'Diet considerations.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Gullib-Os

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

CATCHY NAME

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

Pollution Look

Mixed Nuts (but mostly peanuts)

"Do you have a cure doctor?"

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

Gluten-free Santa

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

Virgin Olive Oil. Not-Virgin-But-Has-A-Heart-Of-Gold Olive Oil.

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

"Early Bird, you need to go easy on the worms."

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Secret Family Recipes